Dottie’s Diary: The Curious Incident of a Royal Bull Terrier

From the celebrated artist Emma Sergeant comes this wickedly funny ‘diary’ of the days leading up to the real-life disgrace of royal Bull Terrier Dottie. Hear it from Dottie herself, the blue-blooded terror of the canine kingdom who shook Britain when she killed one of the Queen’s Corgis.25th December Christmas day. It is cold and we race around the sundial in the garden. The family return from church and we enter the house. Inside the Christmas tree is decorated and surrounded with presents. Pharos and the other corgis position themselves near the tree anticipating their Christmas stockings. A deep resentment grips me. With every breath my growl grows to a battle cry. Death to the enemy! I am in flight across the presents, dragging tinsel like a feather bower across my chest. Mummy screams, No Dottie! Pharos stares, her smugness turns to horror as the tinsel terror locks jaws. My rage takes away my senses and I am numb to the desperate attempts of the humans to disengage my fangs from Pharos’s neck. Various methods are being applied, kick, screams and much soda water. The scrum of humans, jets of Schweppes and barking bitches help to enmesh me in the shiny twine. The tension in