Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha

Paddy Clarke is 10 years old. He likes Manchester United, torturing his brother, pouring salt on slugs and lighting fires. His best friend is Kevin and their names are written in cement all over Barrytown.

Patrick knows that the life expectancy of a mouse is 18 months, that Geronimo was the last of the renegade Apaches, snails and slugs are gastropods and robbing Football Monthly means four million years in Purgatory.

He also knows that his mother is crying, what the smacking sound was, that Da leaves the house in silence, but he doesn’t know why…