Secrets

A photograph hidden at the bottom of a drawer, a diary carefully locked away, a memento recalling the past – to have these and other secrets is one of our basic rights, says Paul Tournier. Secrecy is vital in our lives. The small child, totally dependent upon his parents, must free himself little by little as he matures. His secrets are the instruments of that emancipation. Keeping a secret is the first step in becoming an individual; telling it; the second step, is even more important. Those who never give of themselves remain individuals rather than persons. Those who tell their secrets – voluntarily – forge a link with others and become persons. This double action of withdrawing and giving is essential in the dialogue between child and parent, patient and doctor, husband and wife, and especially between man and God. To refuse and then surrender in our relations with God – to feel ourselves distinct from him, to choose him freely, to tell him our secret, and thus to know his love – is to become a person in the full sense of the word. Combining insights of religion, psychiatry, and common sense, this book should be read by parents, pastors, teachers, social workers, husbands, wives – in short, anyone who has ever kept or told a secret. — from book’s dustjacket