Surrendering to Marriage

Iris Krasnow focuses us on real marriage. The truth is that bliss may be there at dawn and gone by lunch, she admits, and there are as many times that you feel like saying Screw you as you feel like saying I love you. In this book, Krasnow leads us through all of it — the bliss and the blunders — and with her we journey to the heart of the mystery. It s boring, confusing, sexy, stupid, hilarious, dark, and overwhelming; it s marriage.

Through a series of interviews with those who have married, cheated, divorced, and remarried, Krasnow pieces out a shattered portrait of what we can expect from our vows. Each marriage is different, Krasnow shows us; some rest on friendship, while others crackle with sexual tension. But each is battered by a similar struggle. As remarried couples therapist Dr. Isaiah Zimmerman explains, At the heart of most problems is anger that you aren t getting what you think you are entitled to. We struggle with marriage, says Zimmerman (and Krasnow), because that s how we finally grow up.

Krasnow wanders among different kinds of marriages, offering us perspective and thoughtful reflection. That is what is moving about this book: Like marriage, it s a container for divergent, warring perspectives that can never be totally resolved. It s not easy, but it opens our eyes to the dark beauty of love.