The Measure of a Man: Becoming the Man You Wish Your Father Had Been

When a man becomes a father, his whole world changes. No longer “just” a husband or a career man, he takes on the responsibility of raising a child. How he performs as a father is greatly influenced by the fathering he himself received, as well as societal and biological considerations. But if fathers historically have not been involved in the family, as close to their children, as warm and nurturing as is now thought they should be, how can a man learn to be a good father? Dr. Jerrold Lee Shapiro, a practicing therapist and professor at Santa Clara University, has conducted extensive interviews with 800 fathers and surveyed close to 300 couples for this groundbreaking book, The Measure of a Man. In it he describes what fatherhood has traditionally meant in our society and why it is so difficult to break free from the negative elements of this traditional role. Women’s influences on the definition of the father’s role are also explored, as are the ways in which the tradition of motherhood hinders change in fathers’ behavior. Perhaps most important, however, Dr. Shapiro looks at the effect of inadequate or bad fathering on a man’s ability to parent. Through self-awareness, involvement, shifts in role perception, communication with the mother, and relationships with other fathers, men learn the skills they need to become the fathers they wish their fathers had been. This is an important book on a subject that is vital to the survival of the American family.