The Onion’s Finest News Reporting, Volume 1

The Onion is the world’s most popular humor periodical. Its first book, Our Dumb Century , was a New York Times #1 best-seller and winner of the 1999 Thurber Prize for American Humor.  Now The Onion returns  with Volume One of  the paper’s greatest, most hard-hitting stories,
–Clinton Deploys Vowels to Operation Vowel Storm Will Make Countless Bosnian Names More Pronounceable
–Jesus Christ Returns to NBA
–Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
–I Can’t Stand My Filthy Hippy Owner by Thunder the Ferret